Women's Counseling

NorthPoint Women's Concerns counseling begins with the process of self-knowledge, getting to know the "essence of you," finding your roots and your strengths. Women's counseling can help you accept yourself and find peace with who you are. From the foundation of self-acceptance, you can design your life. NorthPoint counselors provide a non-judgmental, safe, comfortable and relaxed atmosphere in which to talk to a professional. NorthPoint counselors are invested in helping you to achieve the goals you would like. They can help provide knowledge and tools that enable you to deal more effectively with your concerns.

In many cases, life itself is driven by our choices, whether business or personal. Attitudes in fact, control behaviors and outcomes for women. Henry Ford once said, "If you think you can or you think you can't, you're right!" Attitudes make self-fulfilling prophecies.¹

Common Women Issues Include:

Self Esteem
There are many reasons why women suffer for low self-esteem. Perceived lack of self-worth, uncomfortable jealousy, relationship breakups, high levels of anxiety or stress, inability to think positively, mild depression, and many other issues affect the self0esteem of millions of women every day.

Anger
Anger is sometimes times a challenge for many women. Truth is anger can be both healthy and unhealthy. If you are experiencing episodes of anger, seeking Professional counseling may help you learn and address the many reasons behind your anger i.e. what causes it and what you can do to make it work for you, not against you.

Insecurity
One of the biggest issues facing women today is insecurity. When you experience feelings of insecurity your tendency is to believe that you are never good enough. Insecurity leads you to believe that you are incompetent and helpless to face problems in life.¹

Fear of the unknown
New experiences and demands can be stressful. You don't know just what is round the corner, and you worry about this. You are more content to stick with status quo than to opt for an uncertain future. This fear is especially pronounced in those people who lack self-confidence and the fear can escalate when demands are made on us.

Fear of making a mistake
The decision not to decide is itself a decision, and frequently a mistake! This fear is common among men and women who have more choices they can pick from and the more the choices the greater the fear. You fear that you will regret the decision tomorrow, next week, or next month and so delay and drag out the process hoping that you won't make a mistake or fail.

Fear of losing family and friends
We all rely on the support of family and friends. You fear losing those people who do not approve of your decision (family, friends, children from previous marriage etc) because you have a strong need for the social approval of others. But this fear is not simply about not being able to handle their anger or rejection but fear of when things go wrong - and having them say "I told you so".

Fear of losing control
We all want to feel that we have choices and are in control. And part of the sense of control is in being able to control the timing of a relationship (when and how it'll happen). What usually happens is that everything is going on well, but once you feel that you are losing that control you freak out and back off.

Trust In a relationship, trust is something that's gained. Trust issues at the beginning of a relationship are normal since someone's guard still needs to be let down. This is a gradual process that can take several years. The only real trust issues that occur involve a loss of trust and previous relationship problems that lead to one partner not willingly trusting others.

Sometimes betrayal in a past relationship leaves the individual emotionally hurt and afraid of new relationships. Some individuals start to believe that they will always be mistreated or cheated on in a relationship, and they emotionally distance themselves from their new partners.

Sexual Addiction
The term "sexual addiction" is used to describe the behavior of a person who has an unusually intense sex drive or an obsession with sex. Sex and the thought of sex tend to dominate the sex addict's thinking, making it difficult to work or engage in healthy personal relationships.

Sex addicts engage in distorted thinking, often rationalizing and justifying their behavior and blaming others for problems. They generally deny they have a problem and make excuses for their actions.

Sexual addiction also is associated with risk-taking. A person with a sex addiction engages in various forms of sexual activity, despite the potential for negative and/or dangerous consequences. In addition to damaging the addict's relationships and interfering with his or her work and social life, a sexual addiction also puts the person at risk for emotional and physical injury.

For some people, the sex addiction progresses to involve illegal activities, such as exhibitionism (exposing oneself in public), making obscene phone calls, or molestation. However, it should be noted that sex addicts do not necessarily become sex offenders.

Behaviors Associated With Sexual Addiction Include:

• Compulsive masturbation (self-stimulation)
• Fantasy sex
• Anonymous sex
• Pain exchange sex
• Exploitive sex
• Seductive role sex
• Trading sex
• Intrusive sex
• Multiple affairs (extra-marital affairs)
• Multiple or anonymous sexual partners and/or one-night stands
• Consistent use of pornography
• Unsafe sex
• Phone or computer sex (cybersex)
• Prostitution or use of prostitutes
• Exhibitionism
• Obsessive dating through personal ads
• Voyeurism (watching others) and/or stalking
• Sexual harassment
• Molestation/rape

Generally, a person with a sex addiction gains little satisfaction from the sexual activity and forms no emotional bond with his or her sex partners. In addition, the problem of sex addiction often leads to feelings of guilt and shame. A sex addict also feels a lack of control over the behavior, despite negative consequences (financial, health, social, and emotional).

How Is Sexual Addiction Treated?

• Most sex addicts live in denial of their addiction, and treating an addiction is dependent on the person accepting and admitting that he or she has a problem. In many cases, it takes a significant event -- such as the loss of a job, the break-up of a marriage, an arrest, or health crisis -- to force the addict to admit to his or her problem.
• Treatment of sexual addiction focuses on controlling the addictive behavior and helping the person develop a healthy sexuality. Treatment includes education about healthy sexuality, individual counseling, and marital and/or family therapy. Support groups and 12 step recovery programs for people with sexual addictions (like Sex Addicts Anonymous) also are available.
• Counseling for the partner of the sexual addict is also highly encouraged.²

¹ Carla Valencia, ² Mark Domebech, PhD