Self Esteem
NorthPoint Self Esteem / Confidence counseling is designed to help peel back years of hurt and begin a new work towards a rewarding life. NorthPoint believes that all people, no matter who they are or where they have been, have purpose, value, and meaning. This belief is one of our core values. It is so important in life that individuals discover their purpose, as this lack of understanding is a frequent cause of low self-worth.
When you begin counseling, we start by identifying those assumptions that are contributing to a sense of low self value. These could include the belief that "I am never good enough", "there is nothing special about me", or "I never seem to be able to find direction or purpose in life." The emotions that are tied to these negative assumptions maintain a hold on an individual from feeling a sense of value and identity. By identifying and understanding events in life that contribute to low self worth and discovering a clear picture of a future without those assumptions, we are able to resolve these feelings and provide hope and release from harmful beliefs.
Your level of self-esteem influences not only the way you think about yourself, but also the manner in which you behave on a regular basis. Although the truth behind how one develops their level of self-esteem is surrounded by fact and fiction, it remains a fact that our self-esteem is an integral part of our lives.1
Healthy self-esteem means thinking as highly of yourself as you think of your friends and peers. We are so used to negative feedback that we are more aware of our weaknesses than our strengths. We are often taught we will "fail," so it is often hard to enjoy success, no matter how small each "success" might be1.
What is Self-Esteem?
According to Nathaniel Branden, Ph.D., a noted author and expert on the subject, "Self-esteem is the experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness."1
Why is High Self-Esteem Necessary?
As Dr. Branden notes, "Positive self-esteem is the immune system of the spirit, helping an individual face life problems and bounce back from adversity." So, high self-esteem is crucial during the turbulence of your teenage years.1
How To Build Self-Esteem
The process is simple, but putting it to work is difficult. Self-esteem is built upon the experience of success. Think of it as a circular process. When people experience success, they grow in self-confidence. As self-confidence grows, they feel empowered to face new challenges. As they succeed in confronting each challenge, they develop the capacity to cope with whatever life throws their way. That feeling leads to further growth of self-confidence, self-reliance and self-esteem.1
Common Characteristics of Genuinely Low Self Esteem
- Social withdrawal
- Anxiety and emotional turmoil
- Lack of social skills and self confidence. Depression and/or bouts of sadness
- Less social conformity
- Eating disorders
- Inability to accept compliments
- An Inability to see yourself 'squarely' - to be fair to yourself
- Accentuating the negative
- Exaggerated concern over what they imagine other people think
- Self neglect
- Treating yourself badly but NOT other people
- Worrying whether you have treated others badly
- Reluctance to take on challenges
- Reluctance to trust your own opinion
- Expect little out of life for yourself
- Difficult/ unable to accept and learn from mistakes
- Devastated by criticism
- Overly defensive when questioned
- Easily defeated by setbacks and obstacles
- Likely to feel a need to put others down
- Overly worried about failing or looking foolish
- Harshly or destructively critical of themselves
- Aggressively driven to prove themselves
- Unable to laugh at themselves, not taking themselves too seriously
- Being obnoxious or conceited
- Learned to focus only on your mistakes
- Always making mistakes
- Believing everything or most things are due to shortcomings1
1 Lifestrong / Lifescript